The act of making porn requires a unique sort of commitment not a lot of average Joes, or Jills, can understand. Because the internet is anonymous, the brand of criticism you receive is, singularly spectacular. For whatever reason, the porn consuming masses are the single most hypocritical lot around. Take away their porn, and they’d respond with a baseball bat of justice, with words like freedom of speech and anti-censorship carved into it’s shaft – the last words you’d read before your brain got caved in. And yet, as I’ve said many times, they loathe the idea of supporting it, or the stars or the studios. It’s a weird relationship I’ve yet to understand. But, at the end of the day, we all just want what we want. People who make porn, and star in it, want that too. Their involvement is a clue to their personalities as well – being naked and having sex for people’s enjoyment takes passion. Not sexual passion. But, passion for life, and the desire for something beautiful.
The porn itself isn’t what I define as “beautiful”, but the act of porn is tied to freedom of expression, artistic purity, naked truth (literal and figurative). The girls I’ve worked with (a few exceptions) all did their first scene, whether with me or someone else, because they wanted to know what it would be like. The intensely intimate act with a room full of people watching. Knowing that, while she’s home doing dishes, or on the bus, anyone around her could be watching her fuck, right now. It’s both scary and exciting. That feeling is beautiful. To know you’re not holding anything back – giving it all in spite the cowardly comments and accusations from anonymous internet tough-guys. It’s amazing.
If you’ve read my bio or more than 3 of these blog posts, you’ll know that I’m not in porn because I’m a dirty fuck, or because I make money at it or I’m vain. The shoots are fun, and the girls are beautiful so I enjoy the sex, of course. But, it’s not all about that. It’s about creating something that’s mine, and that others can enjoy it. I watch porn like anyone else, and it’s great. I love being able to give something back. That’s the real fun – seeing it done, and knowing someone is enjoying it. And, ultimately, the knowledge that when my time is almost done on this earth, I won’t look back and only have a series of bills paid on time to show for my life. I’ll have given something back. Beautiful.