Monthly Archives: July 2013


Hey, your hypocrisy is sticking out, please zip up

I believe in fairness. Real fairness – not the bullshit version people tell themselves is fairness, like, “I should get my pizza for free because you were eight minutes late. That’s only fair.” I mean fairness to one another, and even to people you don’t know, like or otherwise care about. Well, if that guy who was eight minutes late with your pizza has to pay for it out of his own pocket, not your problem. He was late. Why should you give a shit? No reason, actually. Because, as you know, you’ll NEVER need the kindness or fairness of others in your life, ever. So, you’re good to go. Fuck em.

Okay, for the rest of us, fairness is an important part of everyday life, around others. We’re a tribe. A wandering herd who’ve found a green field with plenty of grass. We have to look each other in the eye when we graze, so we take our fair share, and accept that the rest of the tribe has to eat as well. Everyone gets along. That’s in our DNA from the time we weren’t so upright, and roamed the African plane. The same goes today, or should, at least. To demand everything in your life be free, but expecting to be paid for your work is hypocrisy, and unfair. We all take advantage now and again. That’s being human. But, it’s never too late to make amends later. To support a software product you used to pirate a free version of – buy the next version. Buy that movie from iTunes you grabbed from a torrent site. Throw a few dollars down for a website you really like. Just because the world has gone open-source doesn’t mean the person who worked the lighting crew on that movie doesn’t have rent to pay, just like you do.

I’m not bitching – I’m writing about myself. I’m guilty of the things I just wrote. But, it’s not too late for me to change. I bought MadMen on iTunes, and I’ll buy the season’s pass for Breaking Bad, the Walking Dead and Game of Thrones. I pay for NetFlix too. I’m also buying the Adobe software products through the creative cloud starting next month, and ditching my pirated version. It’s important to support products, services, websites and people you like. If the day comes when you loose something you value from lack of support, you likely won’t care. You should, but no one can twist your arm.

“Someone else will pay for it – so, I don’t have to worry about it.” <- nope, that’s not how it works. We all support each other a little. That’s called a community. It’s fair. It takes guts to be giving. Some people take pride in what they can take from someone else, and how much they can get on top of it for themselves. Can’t talk sense into them. The rest of us just need to keep on, keeping on.

Speaking of fair, here’s some free pics of a hot young Russian, Katrina. Like her profile, if you like her pics. Hey …that’s only fair.


If it turns out there IS a god, I’m pretty much screwed

The morality of porn is constantly a question. Google doesn’t permit legitimate porn companies to benefit from the same efforts any other business does. Christian groups protest pornography constantly – ironic that they’ve had to spend time watching porn to have such a well rounded understanding of it. And now, it looks like Britain is trying to censor porn on the internet. Censorship in this day and age seems like a laughable notion, but they’re planning to give it a try. Sex isn’t immoral. I don’t really understand the problem, but then again …it’s not my call to make. Continue reading


The difference between fair, and a thorough ass-fucking is perspective

Currently, just about every porn producer I know has come to the realization that they need to make their porn money from things other than porn. It’s actually quite astounding to say that. I remember speaking to my investor several years ago, and saying, “If I can’t make money in porn, I’ll be the first person in history. Until they invent a pill that makes people not care about sex and hot girls anymore, we’re good to go.” Well, they did invent a pill (called tube-piracy) …and people DON’T care anymore about sex and hot girls. I never thought I would live to see it happen. But, it’s all just a matter of perspective. Continue reading


The self-promotion conundrum (aka go fuck yourself)

The largest group of followers I ever lost on social media was the result of posting images of hot naked girls. I also once posted a porn link in one of the porn link sections on reddit. It was voted down to the bottom in about 12 seconds, and I received several messages to go fuck myself. Most ironic of all, that these were porn fans. I felt like I was in an episode of the twilight zone, where suddenly everyone had become anti-sexual, and angry at the idea of sex and hot girls. It was later I realized I WAS in the twilight zone, but it was a different episode. This episode was called, “You’re self-promoting? Right, how about you fuck off!” Shit, …I’ve never seen this episode before. Continue reading


Porn is art – bet you didn’t know that

You may not have gathered that I’m a creative professional, as well as a pornographer, just from reading my blog. The FUCK-Tastic website design is likely beside the point to most people who visit. The colours are well balanced, the information flows logically, and the navigation is easy follow – that’s all based on solid graphic design principles. Yeah, so? Who cares? The name “FUCK-Tastic” was an appropriate choice for the brand for several creative reasons, as well as “Test1 Productions” (my production company). In other words, their both relevant and descriptive. Yeah, so? Who cares? I edit my scenes based on sound film-making techniques. We write scripts that are funny, and clever, not to mention my crew are skilled filmmakers. Yeah, so? Who cares?

I, and my crew do. That’s who.

It doesn’t matter that no one else does. We care, because we care about the art. Yes, I said art. Porn follows all the rules of any art form. Is all porn art? Yes, it is. Is all porn created “artistically”? No. That’s the confusion. But, bottom line, make no mistake that porn is a labour of love – though, not to those who profit from it. They don’t give a shit. That is universal to any industry, to be fair. Same goes for Nike. The CEO likely doesn’t give a flying fuck about how well the aerodynamic line of the shoe is integrated with both style and functionality. Or, that the shoe design was done by a gifted designer, who could have worked somewhere else, but chose to work for Nike. But, the guy who designed the shoe DOES care. And, he cares, no matter how profitable the company is, or not. That’s the sacrifice all artists have to make.

I love making porn. I should be clear about one thing – it’s not the sex I love. I love sex, yes. I love fucking each girl I’ve done a scene with, even though there are weird moments with others around. But, that’s not the story – what I really love about making porn, is creating something from scratch. The story that no one bothers to watch. The edits no one notices were cleverly done. The camera angles no one pays any attention to. That’s all the stuff I love. That’s the art.

Another pornographer I respect a lot said something to me once, that’s always bothered me since. He’s a videographer by trade, but he said, “I would never bring my art to this. I shoot it, and I don’t give a shit. I just get it done.” I wasn’t (and aren’t) bothered by what he said, or that he works this way. I was bothered by wondering how much different his porn would be if he DID bring his craft to it. That’s just my own mind wandering about. That’s what artists do – imagine. Either way, porn is a work of art.

Speaking of works of art, Hazel Star‘s body is a real work of art. Click “Like” on her profile if you love those perfect tits as much as I do.


Trolls, okay, seriously. Your point is?

I’m struggling to understand the troll mentality. Actually, no I’m not. That makes it sound like I’m really interested in knowing more about them. I’m not. I’m more interested in the impulse that motivates someone to hate on you, unprovoked. I suppose it’s just the social-media mechanism for someone, who would otherwise be the kid in the corner by himself with his arms crossed, pissed at all the other kids for getting along and having fun, to lash out with their anger and frustration. It’s also the means for the person in the office who won’t talk to anyone, and avoids eye contact when speaking to you to let you know they hate you for having self-esteem – the self esteem that has escaped them. These people are victims of a tragic life-view, and I feel badly for them, but it’s a reality. Continue reading


I have tendinitis: aka, appreciate the little things

I can’t walk. I have a severe case of tendinitis. FYI – tendinitis sucks fat balls, if you didn’t already know that. Walking with crutches is brutally painful at first, but worse when you can’t find a pair, and no one is your size if they have them. The first day my heel went to shit, I was limited to going the distance I could hop on one leg. That ain’t far – try it sometime, when it’s not a fun office-picnic game. There is, however, an upside to this situation. A whole new appreciation for the little things. Continue reading


Sometimes your dick wants to make you look stupid around girls.

I admit it …I’ve had 3 scenes go to shit, that had to be abandoned because my dick and I weren’t seeing eye to eye. I have absolutely no sexual disfunction, either. I think of Hazel Star‘s ass, or the way she giggles when she’s giving head …I get hard in about 6 seconds. But, making porn can fuck with your normal functions. Continue reading


Richard Dawkins might have one thing wrong.

Richard Dawkins is a pretty smart bloke. Though I tease about him in the title, he doesn’t have this wrong, I’m sure. But, I can’t escape the FANTASTIC (or FUCK-Tastic) reality that you can say coincidence accounts for all misfortune and fortune, but it sure doesn’t seem true. In other words, you could have been Bill Gates, but he is instead the trillionaire, and it’s just random chance. If that’s all true, what the fuck’s up with shoots and random chance? Continue reading